Yes I am complaining. See, you just have to take control. I dont care if its embarrassing, thats what they depend on, people being too shy to make a fuss

Is that fish dry, it looks dry, yuck, just send it back. Go on, I would, look, if you dont want to, I will, doesnt matter that youve already eaten most of it, theyre just taking advantage because they know they can. Waiter! Can you go and tell the chef my friends fish is disgustingly dry, go on, take it away, and while youre at it, my meat was cold, disgraceful, the sauce was congealing by the time it got here, practically made me retch, see, I had to leave those peas. OK, pea.

Yes, I would like you to tell him that, yes, I am complaining. See, you just have to take control, I dont care if its embarrassing, thats what they depend on, people being too shy to make a fuss, thats why I do it. You might call it serial complaining, I call it standing up for consumer rights, did I tell you about that time I got them to take off four puddings? When they didnt fix a wobbly table? Same with the tiny portions in that so-called gastro pub, thoroughly spoiled the meal, but at least they wont try it on with someone else, we got two complimentary brandies.

Do you think this wines meant to taste like this? I didnt notice with the first glass, often you have to drink two or three before you realise theres absolutely no depth of flavour. Excuse me, miss, would you care to taste this? Well, take the rest of the bottle back, with my compliments, no, theres at least a glass left, its not like any sauvignon that Ive drunk before, I dont care if its chardonnay. Excuse me, are you implying that Im ignorant? The bill, please, were leaving.

What? Are you joking? Can I see the manager? Youre expecting us to pay after we went to the trouble of complaining? So we ate it, so what, dont tell me youve actually added the service charge unbelievable, you make us feel ill, you make a scene when all my friend here and I wanted was a quiet, relaxing meal. Im not raising my voice, wait until you see my review on TripAdvisor. Did I say well be using these vouchers?

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/27/serial-complainer-restaurants-modern-tribes-catherine-bennett

Modern tribes: the serial complainer
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